McTeague by Frank Norris Sunday, Mar 25 2007 

This “minor classic” (according to introduction) takes place on Polk Street in San Francisco at the turn of the century.  It is part of that funny scandalously-realistic-depiction-of-the-common-man-according-to-some-rich-kid genre, so it includes lots of interesting detail about daily life in San Francisco at that time.  For example, did you know that tamales have been an integral part of the San Francisco bar scene for at least a century?  At that time, there was a tamale man instead of a tamale lady and he sold tamales in street kiosks near the bars, instead of on that rad bicycle cart that the tamale lady pulls around to all of the bars.  But it seems to have filled that same late-night dinner/bar food niche.  Mmm, tamales.

The story describes the downfall of a dumb dentist and his avaricious wife, apparently inspired by a real crime in San Francisco.  I have to say, and maybe I am an avaricious wife, but for the first two thirds of the book I thought she was completely reasonable in refusing to dip into her savings so her husband could fritter it all away on beer and a bigger apartment like he wanted to.  Now later, when she started rolling in gold coins so she could feel the cold money on her naked skin, I conceded that this seemed a little weird.  (But what an excellent, Dynasty-esque image!  Nice break from all the ‘realism.’)  I do not want to spoil the ending for anyone, but all of this avarice winds up leading to crime.

The introduction, written by Kevin Starr, is pretty interesting.  It clarifies that Frank Norris was a rich, artsy kid (died young) who wanted to write a starkly realistic novel about working class people on Polk Street.  He lived two blocks away on a much posher street, which he grandly calls “the avenue” throughout the novel.  This sheds some light on the somewhat condescending fascination he seems to have for regular cable car drivers and saddle makers and bartenders on Polk Street.  I believe the book also exhibits some of that condescension that trustafarians always have for people who “care too much about money,” because it is so non-bohemian to worry about that sort of thing, especially when you will get a fat check from your parents at the end of the month.

In short, this book is good trashy fun.  Much better than that Jackie Collins.  I recommend reading it, then going back and reading the introduction, which is much more informative after reading the book.   The part of the introduction describing his time as a “banjo-playing fraternity man” at Berkeley is priceless.  One time he and his frat brothers rented a giant horse and carriage from Wells Fargo from which to watch the Big Game.  Notwithstanding the fact that I have never seen an actual football game, I am now desperate to recreate this experience with the chief’s great aunt and uncle, a mixed Cal and Stanford couple who have big screaming arguments about the big game every year.

Jesse James: The Last Rebel of the Civil War Saturday, Mar 17 2007 

The New York Times calls this a “fascinating revisionist biography,” but I am not familiar enough with the traditional biography of Jesse James to know what the new angle is — perhaps, all of the brutal killing when he was a pro-slavery militant during the Civil War.  I reviewed the first half of this a few weeks ago, and those comments stand.

As I got further in Jesse James’ life, it was interesting to read about his public relations efforts; for example, he used to issue press releases and leave them on the trains that he robbed.  Also, I liked reading about how monetary policy was affected by politics before, during, and after the Civil War … it reminded me that there is this other pop history book about the history of money that I have been meaning to read for a while.

This book has some very interesting bits, but like many histories it suffers from big gaps in time where there is not any direct evidence of what was going on with Jesse James’ life.  (Now, as I  mentioned earlier, I prefer gaps to long, clearly made-up sequences about a historical figure’s inner life, but that is just me.)  Stiles tried to fill in the gaps with analysis of the historical and social context of outlaws in the Sourth before, during, and after the Civil War.  Those parts were really boring, in part because he mainly seemed to be having an argument with other history writers instead of presenting us with a compelling story or theory.  And there is no reason for that stuff to be boring.  It has OUTLAWS, the old west, the war, money, trains, probably hobos for gods sake — basically a lot of things that make for good reading and there is no excuse for making me feel like I was in a boring high school class during those parts of the book.

I think I am going to see if the library has that money history book, though.

Lovers and Players by Jackie Collins Saturday, Mar 17 2007 

Back when I was on crutches, I checked out a huge stack of books closest to the check-out area at the library because it is hard to carry books with your teeth, especially under the watchful eye of dour librarians. (Shouldn’t there have been an ADA-funded valet to follow me around, recommend books, check out books for me, and waive all late fees due to my disability? But I digress.) In any event, this was not the worst book in the stack, but it was not my favorite.

This brings up several questions for me. First, how come some trash is so addictive and fun to read and some trash is boring? I adore Jacqueline Susann’s entire ouevre and I heart all Aaron Spelling shows and I read all the ladies fashion magazines every month even though I know they will give me the same dumb tips every time, etc. I do not think these things are qualitatively better than Jackie Collins, but somehow the Jackie Collins book was very boring and I read the whole thing with grim determination, as though it were a job I did not like very much.

Still, one thing I can say about this book: her characters’ names are f$&@) awesome. The first person we are introduced to is named Jett Diamond. Jett Diamond! Why didn’t I think of this myself? Then we meet his father, Red Diamond, a Sumner Redstone type. (I feel like this is one of those books where every character is a thinly veiled verson of a real person except I know too little about New York society people to get it.) And just when I was about to throw the book across the room in irritation with how Ms. Collins has a supposedly American 8-year-old girl talking like a retarded robot speaking its second language (“Lulu want ice cream! Lulu hungry!“) , she produced the best name ever: a sinister blackmailing guy named Vladimir Bushkin. So subtle, I love it. (In general, a lot of characters in the book seem to speak about themselves in the third person. Is this something rich fancy people do? Maybe I should start practicing for when I become a tycoon.)

In any event Ms. Collins taught me some valuable lessons I should apply to the Serialist. First, I should keep writing it because more than 400 million copies of her books have been sold in more than 40 countries and I am falling behind. Second, perhaps I have become too dour and, well, realistic. I think I need more hysteria and drama, possibly a knock-down, drag-out fight between two female characters, and the chief’s suggestion of a white slavery ring is not bad. (Why is it always white slavery in soap operas? I have a lot to learn, I guess.) And the names! My character names suck! I need to introduce some cool new people. Stay tuned.

Jesse James, so far Sunday, Mar 4 2007 

Law school totally ruined me for the type of biography where they say: “On that foggy morning, Caesar woke up in a tizzy because he had a nightmare that he never told anybody about,” with no attribution and no way they could possibly could have obtained that insight.  I tried to read one of the chief’s pop history tomes after my first year of law school and almost clawed out my eyes screaming about the lack of citations.  Therefore, I appreciate the heavily annotated nature of this biography, which has a footnote at the end of every sentence just like a law review article.  The thesis of this book is that Jesse James was not the fun-loving Robin Hood character of western movies, but rather a psychopathic pro-slavery terrorist.  (The author makes a point of using the word “terrorist” every few sentences, in case we did not get it the first time.)

I have always been sort of interested in the connection between pulpy novels, the mythology of the western, and the civil war — perhaps because my atrocious education is limited to what I have learned from spaghetti westerns, Ken Burns documentaries, and children’s books.   Also, like Trane, I am descended from Missourians so it is interesting to read about Missouri history and the role of Missouri in the civil war.

So far, I have two criticisms.  First, there are not nearly enough pictures!  Wasn’t Jesse James a celebrity during his lifetime?  And yet they can only come up with two pictures of him, and there is only one Wanted poster?  Ridiculous.  I also get a little bored of the tactical war discussions, but I understand that this type of thing is very alluring to the civil war re-enactors, who outnumber me.

I have learned lots of good slang, like “bushwacker” and “redleg.”  I am starting to feel vaguely guilty about liking southern bourbon so much because it seems like the drug of choice for bushwackers.  And did you know there used to be a political faction called the “Know-nothings?”  So refreshingly honest.  Did you know Lawrence, Kansas was founded by abolitionists and was a crazy hotbed of social liberalism (redleggism, in other words)?  I have learned all of this, and Jesse James is only about 18.  Will keep you posted.